vodka comas

Broken. Completely shattered. That's what I'm feeling like at the moment. I'm hurting everywhere, especially the butt cheeks. It's like I was bent over with my pants around my ankles, greased up for penetration, and someone did just that. Repeatedly. That's what you get for trying to be at every party mentioned, and drinking upset.

Despite all my moaning, it was a hell of a weekend. There was way too much vodka involved for my liking, but what can you do? Vodka induces one to flirt with 16 year olds, massive memory loss, you lose any sense of direction or balance, and eventual coma. When you come to, you know you have pissed off an individual or two.

So you do your bit to patch things up. It might mean doing something you wouldn't usually do, but, again, what can you do? If it involves the beneficial friend, and you did a good job with the Band-Aid, then you will reap those benefits. And all is right with the world again, so like an idiot, you go and celebrate.

Next thing you know, you are getting kicked out of Stones because one of the posy is in poor form, but it's all in good spirit, innit? It's all good and well, until you are cornered in a road block, but when you have learnt the art of sweet talk, things usually go smoother. If you haven't, well, it could have been a whole lot different.

After coming to yet again, you find you have missed all the appointments that had been meticulously made for the morning after. In that case, I recommend tackling one problem at a time, and prioritising. Dealing with the hangover first is a good idea, and then dealing with a ticked off beneficial friend can come after that. Last thing you need is one headache on top of the other.

If you successfully negotiate all that, I recommend blowing off some steam. A braai is perfect for seeing off the weekend, and so is Weisbier. But not in combination, that's asking for trouble, and that's what I'm sitting here with. Trouble. Although I'm better off than some individuals who should have been studying but found themselves at La Med and tripping on Grand-Pa and Red Bull.

Regardless, I was dozing at my desk drooling all over the keyboard earlier this morning. Manky, thank goodness the phone woke me up before anyone got a chance to take pictures. A cruel lot, this crowd. The only good thing about today is knowing I can only feel better than this. I just popped a Paracetamol to expedite things. It's not my style, but I'm willing to try anything.

Sad to hear of Miriam Makeba passing away last night. But what can you do?